The Dentist and the Crocodile
By Roald Dahl
The crocodile, with cunning smile, sat in the dentist’s chair.
He said, “Right here and everywhere my teeth require repair.”
The dentist’s face was turning white. He quivered, quaked and shook.
He muttered, “I suppose I’m going to have to take a look.”
“I want you”, Crocodile declared, “to do the back ones first.
The molars at the very back are easily the worst.”
He opened wide his massive jaws. It was a fearsome sight—
At least three hundred pointed teeth, all sharp and shining white.
The dentist kept himself well clear. He stood two yards away.
He chose the longest probe he had to search out the decay.
“I said to do the back ones first!” the Crocodile called out.
“You’re much too far away, dear sir, to see what you’re about.
To do the back ones properly you’ve got to put your head
Deep down inside my great big mouth,” the grinning Crocky said.
The poor old dentist wrung his hands and, weeping in despair,
He cried, “No no! I see them all extremely well from here!”
Just then, in burst a lady, in her hands a golden chain.
She cried, “Oh Croc, you naughty boy, you’re playing tricks again!”
“Watch out!” the dentist shrieked and started climbing up the wall.
“He’s after me! He’s after you! He’s going to eat us all!”
“Don’t be a twit,” the lady said, and flashed a gorgeous smile.
“He’s harmless. He’s my little pet, my lovely crocodile.”
The biggest event of my Wednesday was my semiannual dentist appointment a.k.a. waterboarding torture -- seriously, now that practically all hygienists use those spray-picks, how do the very young and very old avoid getting pneumonia from aspirating whatever is being blasted off of their teeth? I miss sinks. Since I was down in that direction, I tried to stop in the Israeli jewelry store (closed for vacation) and Goodwill store (completely mobbed and understaffed), and I went briefly to the park but it started to rain hard.
Yes, we had storms yet again. My neighbor Rose came to visit in the evening to discuss cats and Marvel movies, then we had dinner and watched The Amazing Spider-Man, which I hadn't remembered loving, but seeing it again so soon after the Tobey Maguire movies, it is an absolute masterpiece (plus Gwen Stacy is absolutely crucial to resolving the crisis rather than, you know, screaming). Then Colbert's children's TV show with witches and the Beatles made me scream! Here are some photos of the many herons we saw at Great Falls last weekend: