by Pattiann Rogers
Do you think if I looked at him hard and said
Over and over to the back of his head, "Don't be hurt,"
It would make a difference? Some people believe
In chants, the effects of memorable sound repeated.
They speak of a resonating power building inward
Under the breastbone, pressing outward simultaneously,
Gathering momentum in the form of circles radiating
Until they reach something somewhere that can make a difference.
Knowing that lead remains in ashes, I could write
In pencil, "Remember how definitely his attitude
Can be injured. Just remember that." And I could burn
The message in the light of the last sun of the equinox,
Leave the ashes in a jar at a spot designated
For those having influence.
Suppose I present him to the sky.
Suppose for three nights in a row I think of him
Spread naked against the stars. And I follow
Every line of his body with my eyes, from one foot
Up the thigh, the striations of the belly,
Throat, head, down the other side, filling in
The triangle of the groin, over and over
Thinking, "Shielded, shielded." Would it make a difference,
Like immersing him in a beneficent river,
Every pore protected?
I can believe in the energy of wishing.
How the body must engender electricity for the speech,
The chemistry of concentration in the pitch of the voice.
I could make someone notice if I sent this with great force
Sparkling into the atmosphere on a windless night--
"I wish him not to be hurt again."
Then shouldn't some bold angel somewhere hear
And help us?
From The Expectations of Light, 1981.
And after the DVD, I needed more Beans.
Last night's Smallville has stuck with me, even though I was very distracted watching it wanting to get back to my FOTR DVDs.
It was very Superman. Clark tried to save someone -- okay, for selfish reasons, he didn't want to lose a friend, but it was still a truly heroic gesture, without the usual mememememe angst overlaying it. I loved the discussion of the comic book, especially Lex's explanation of why the hero and villain eventually parted ways. Slashiness factor through the roof -- my husband and I were both joking that Ryan was going to ask Clark to kiss him as his last wish, and I was so hoping that Ryan would say something to Clark about how much Lex really loves him, but I guess I don't actually have to see those things as long as the possibilities are contained in an episode. And it was genuinely moving in the end, even if TW can't cry convincingly.
The survey my friends are passing around now...all answers subject to change in a few months:
The one who took your virginity: Star Trek
The one who seduced you and fucked you over and broke your heart in a million pieces and laughed about it: Star Trek Voyager
The old flame you don't see very often any more but whom you still really enjoy getting together with for a few drinks and maybe a pleasant nostalgic romp in the sheets: Deep Space Nine
The mysterious dark gothy ones whom you used to sit up with talking until 3 a.m. at weird coffeehouses and with whom you were quite smitten until you realized they really were fucking crazy: La Femme Nikita, Dark Angel
The one you spent a whole weekend in bed with and who drank up all your liquor, and whom you'd still really like to fuck again although you're relieved she doesn't actually live in town: The Avengers (television)
The steadies: Star Trek, Andromeda, Lord of the Rings
The mistresses: X-Files, Sentinel, Hercules, Xena, Smallville, Sharpe
The alluring stranger whom you've flirted with at parties but have never gotten really serious with: Buffy
The ones you hang out with and have vague fantasies about maybe having a thing with but ultimately you're just good buddies 'cause the friendship is there but the chemistry ain't: Highlander, Farscape
The ones your friends keep introducing you to and who seem like cool guys except it's never really gone anywhere with them: Due South, Stargate SG-1
The one who's slept with all your friends, and you keep looking at her and thinking her? How the hell did she land all these cool babes?: Angel
The one your friend has fallen for like a ton of bricks and whom she keeps babbling to you about on the phone for hours, and you'd be happy for her except you just know it's going to end badly: Firefly
Howl for the day, courtesy Cybermum: Fellowship of the Peeps!
The fifteenth chapter of Chevy's "The Captain and the King" is up!
Off to sneak in a few more minutes of actors' commentary before Enterprise. Snore.